As you can see, we have a new sponsor: Noel Swanson of The Good Child Guide is sponsoring us mommies! I was more than delighted to have him because I read the book and I was absolutely in love with it.

We are also giving away a free copy of the eBook after July 19^th, once we announce the winners of our Baby Einstein contest.

When they sent me my copy of this book I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve read some of those parenting guides before and I was highly disappointed because they are apparently written for parents with doctorates or people who are completely out of touch with today’s society. I was glad to say this was not the case with Dr. Swanson’s book.

I read the book in one sitting; it was only about 140 pages. The book was a very easy read, having been written in a direct and concise manner, with which I was very pleased. The book spoke to me more so because I was a child with ADHD and I definitely wanted to see how this book would handle someone with my delightful disorder. I was happy to say that some of the techniques may have worked, however I wasn’t exactly the greatest child. Badass was more like it! He even gives you a good idea on where to start:

Where Do You Start?

What is important to you? No doubt there are a dozen, if not a hundred, large and small behaviors that drive you up the wall. Some of these will simply be irritating. Some will be annoying, and some very worrying. On the one hand you have the wet towel that is always left lying on the bathroom floor. On the other hand you have playing with matches, or stealing from your purse, or lying. And then, perhaps, there is the constant complaining, whining, or swearing. Where do you start?

1. Start with something easy. Do not dive in to try to fix the most difficult, chronic problem. Start with something smaller and then work up to the more difficult and entrenched behaviors. By doing this you can develop some confidence in your ability to change behaviors. It also means that you can quickly experience success, which means that you can then celebrate that success and so get into reward mode. If you start with the more difficult behaviors you are likely to remain frustrated with the slow progress, and then perhaps give up on the whole idea of improving things.

2. Decide which behaviors are the more important over the long haul. In general these will be the behaviors that mold character and personality over time. They are also the behaviors that will impair the grown-up child’s ability to function well in adult society. Lying, stealing, insolence and disrespect are obviously high on this list. Leaving socks lying around on the floor is clearly a much more minor issue.

3. Recognize which behaviors you can reasonably expect to change, and which you are simply going to have to learn to live with. Remember that you cannot change the child’s behavior. All that you can do is to change the environment around him, setting up external motivators in the hope that these external consequences will have more value to him than the internal ones that are also motivating him. In most cases that can be done. The intrinsically messy child can be induced to tidy up his room. But in some cases it is simply impossible. Read more….

I really think that if you make a game plan for yourself and stick to your guns it will work. He goes on and talks about things like placing your foot down and not saying wait till the other parent comes home, take charge yourself.

One of the issues I know a lot of new step parents have is when to put their foot down and when to say it;’s not my place. Where is your place exactly? The one thing I love is that, if you’re a new step parent or becoming one, if you read this book you will learn some good techniques where you’re not reprimanding the child, but laying down the law in the way that you will not be walked over by the child.

Jill V. our Special Needs and Pets staff member went on to say “I think it was a great piece! I was really happy to see the part about 1-2-3 Magic included. It is one of the few techniques that has worked for us over the years. I thought the analogies were right on as well. In general, the piece was very insightful and the way it was written was light-hearted and to the point. Written in a way that made sense as opposed to be overly technical. I even gained a little insight as far as the battles I constantly have with my own kids about room cleaning and such. Very beneficial. I also loved the appendices that were included. The sample chart is something I could definitely use myself and the ideas for rewards are extremely helpful as well. I give it two thumbs up! Thanks again for passing it on!”

When we got the email for them to sponsor us, I only did it on consent that I’d be willing to place my name behind this book, and I definitely am glad I got that email. This is one book I proudly place Pajama Mommy’s seal of approval on! Go out and buy the book today!