Marriage on Valentine’s Day and Every Day

Valentine’s Day is looming large on the horizon, and everywhere you look, commercials, magazines, store displays, and more are focused on helping couples plan the “perfect” February 14th celebration. Yes, if you’re in a relationship, it is important and enjoyable to celebrate your love on this special day. However, Todd Patkin has some advice for married couples especially: Romance, roses, chocolates, and champagne are only a small part of what makes up a marriage. The truth is, it’s the 364 days that surround February 14th that can make or break the quality of your relationship. So if you want to give your spouse the most meaningful Valentine’s gift of all, commit to putting daily thought—and yes, work!—into your relationship.

“I believe that many marriages simply deteriorate because couples allow their relationships to run on ‘autopilot,’ but still expect them to stay healthy and exciting, especially around holidays like Valentine’s Day,” explains Todd Patkin, author of the new book Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In. “But the truth is, like everything else in life, relationships don’t work that way. We must learn to put as much—no, even more—effort into our marriages as we do in trying to succeed professionally or keeping our gardens, houses, or cars looking top shelf.”

Furthermore, Patkin asserts that a happy marriage is the cornerstone of a happy life—if your marriage isn’t good, you’re going to have trouble feeling fulfilled in other areas as well.

“I know from experience that if you get it right here, it’s easier to get it right in all of the other aspects of your life, because the person who’s closest to you will be there to support you and will have your best interests at heart,” he adds.

“When you let your marriage just ‘sit,’ it’ll eventually get rusty and break down, just like your car would,” Patkin points out. “And that’s a terrible tragedy. We all should have been told growing up that you do have to work on your marriage every day, too, if you want it to stay exciting and great.”

If you’re ready and willing to do everything in your power to make your marriage a happier one (perhaps starting this February 14th), read on for Patkin’s nine tips:

Recommit yourself to your marriage every single day. Believe it or not, your marriage vows weren’t a one-time deal. No, you and your spouse probably aren’t going to stand in front of your loved ones and recommit yourselves to one another on a regular basis. But if you want to cultivate a strong and happy marriage, you should start each morning by making a renewed personal commitment to keeping your relationship healthy and rewarding.

“As I mentioned earlier, people work on their cars, their houses, and their gardens on a regular basis,” Patkin points out. “And just as these things need regular, constant attention to thrive, so does your marriage. Don’t let your enthusiasm for working on your relationship be short-lived. In order to give your marriage regular tune-ups, start by remembering what you said you’d do when you made your vows: Love your spouse. Honor her (or him!). Cherish her. Comfort her. Remain faithful to her. And do these things in good times and bad, in sickness and in health—every day of your marriage.”

Evaluate where your self-worth comes from. With very few exceptions, we human beings tend to base our sense of self-worth on the things that are most important to us. It’s common to hear people proudly say, “I’m a financial advisor,” or, “I’m the manager of my division at work,” or even, “I drive a Cadillac!” But how often do you hear, “I am the world’s luckiest husband,” or, “I have the best family in the whole wide world”?

“I understand all about being proud of your career accomplishments and of other things in your life, but I truly believe that the happiest couples draw a lot of their self-worth from their relationship with each other,” Patkin asserts. “So please assess where your marriage really falls right now on your list of personal accomplishments. Are you consistently relying on something other than your marriage, like your job, to make you feel good about yourself?”

Verbalize to your spouse the things you love and appreciate about him or her all of the time. Did you know that the things you think about and talk about influence how you experience the world around you? It’s true! So why not spend time thinking about how great your spouse is and then verbalizing those thoughts? Start by reminding yourself of all of the reasons why you fell in love in the first place, and then list how much more wonderful your partner has gotten since your marriage. Also, tell her (or him!) how much she means to you, how much you love her, and how beautiful she is ten times a day.

“Believe me, no one will ever say that they hear such compliments about themselves too many times,” Patkin promises. “And not only will this make your partner feel great in the moment, but consistently complimenting one another is the single greatest long-term vitamin you can each give to one another for your marriage. Verbalizing such compliments to your spouse is especially important today because most of us have a tendency to dwell on our mistakes while disregarding all of the things we do right. And we don’t normally hear compliments from our kids, our coworkers, or even our friends either, so over time, we start to feel small and unhappy. Thus, as a spouse, it is your responsibility to continue to make your wife or husband feel as great about her or himself as possible.”

Acknowledge the little things your spouse does, and return the favor. In a similar vein, constantly perform small but meaningful acts for your spouse, and don’t be surprised if he or she starts to do the same for you (if he or she doesn’t do so already, that is!). For example, if your wife hates unloading the dishwasher, make a point to get into the kitchen and put away the dishes first. Or make a mental note to wash the sheets on Friday afternoon so that they’ll be clean when your husband sleeps in on Saturday. Acts like this don’t take much time or energy, but they show your spouse that you are paying attention and that you care—and that is truly priceless!

“Also, it’s key that anytime your spouse goes out of his or her way to make your life better or easier, acknowledge that you’ve noticed and that you appreciate this expression of your partner’s love,” Patkin suggests. “Never let small acts go unnoticed. Saying thank you—and accompanying it with a heartfelt hug or kiss—starts a cycle of giving and getting. It’s when you don’t acknowledge your spouse’s efforts that he or she will begin to feel taken for granted and ignored. And usually, things will only go downhill from there.”

Learn—and then do—what makes your spouse feel most loved. Say, for example, that you love to receive gifts. Whether it’s a big-screen TV or a lowly fridge magnet picked up during a friend’s travels, you feel acknowledged and appreciated whenever you’re handed a wrapped box. So whenever you want to let your wife know that you’re thinking about her or want to boost her mood, you bring home a gift: flowers, a CD, or a book by one of her favorite authors. Only problem is, what your wife is really craving is a nice, long hug.

“Don’t assume you know what makes your spouse feel the most loved,” Patkin advises. “While any expression of love is, of course, a good thing, the fact is that we all feel loved in different ways. So it is important that you find out what makes your spouse feel the most loved. Simply ask the question, ‘What have I done in the past that made you feel the most special?’ Some people might want a date night. Others might need to be told verbally that they are the greatest. It’s always a good idea to ask your spouse what makes him or her feel most loved—and then include those actions or words into your regular repertoire. You’ll notice a big difference…and you’ll probably find that your spouse reciprocates, too.”

Don’t let resentment build. When you live in fairly close quarters with another human being, it’s inevitable that sooner or later you’re going to annoy each other. (In fact, at times you’re probably going to want to kill each other.) While it’s not a good idea to nit-pick with your spouse each and every time you feel a teeny bit put out, it’s also unhealthy to let issues and negative feelings build up and fester.

“Always, always make it a priority to keep the lines of communication open,” Patkin advises. “Even if you have to go for a walk to clear your head first, be sure to express your grievances in a calm, constructive way—preferably before you go to bed angry. Also, remember that this is a two-way street. When your spouse is upset with you, make every effort not to fly off the handle and to fairly consider what you’re hearing. Marriage does involve compromising and modifying your behavior for another’s well-being—and believe me, your mutual happiness is worth it.”

Take responsibility and stop trying to fix your partner. There’s a lot of finger pointing going on in marriages. After all, it’s easy to identify and list all the ways someone else is getting it wrong. (Plus, it just feels good to be “right.”) But how much good does all of this complaining and accusing really do? After you finish berating your spouse for yet another of his or her supposed failings, does the quality of your life actually change? Probably not. According to Patkin, it’s time to take a break from blaming and instead work on yourself. While both partners do need to be willing to compromise in order to help the other, it’s always best to look at how your own behavior could improve before you try to change your spouse’s.

“The more time you spend trying to change your spouse, the less time you have for improving yourself,” Patkin points out. “As far as I know, there has never been such a thing as a ‘perfect’ husband or wife! And I bet that when you begin to take responsibility for areas in which you may have been dropping the ball, the dynamic of your marriage will change. Perhaps your spouse has been trapped in a cycle of negativity that has been fed by your own less-than-helpful attitude. And remember, people unconsciously begin to mirror the people they spend the most time with. This happens for the good as well as for the bad! So if you start working on yourself, your spouse will most likely do the same.”

Figure out what your strengths are and play to them. As much as possible, you and your spouse should each play to your strengths within your marriage and back away from your weaknesses. If, for example, you’re great with words but don’t have much of a math brain, don’t take on the task of making sure the bills are paid and the accounts are balanced each month. Instead, take the lead in dealing with teachers, repairmen, etc. When you force yourself to do something for which you have little aptitude, you only frustrate yourself and, by extension, the people with whom you live.

“I’ll be honest—I’m awful when it comes to doing projects around the house,” Patkin admits. “I have very little mechanical understanding or skill, and I have no patience for these types of jobs. For years, though, I’d try tackling these sorts of projects around the house. And then when I failed to put the pieces of a new desk together, for example, I’d feel like less of a man. Well, I’ve finally accepted the fact that I will never be Mr. Home Improvement, and I don’t waste my time or energy on that type of task. Thus, I get much less frustrated, I’m happier, and the people around me are happier too! I’ve learned that it’s definitely a good idea to ask your spouse for help or pay to have the job done if neither of you feels confident.”

Date your spouse again. When you’re newly in love and in full courtship mode, you do everything you can to spend every free moment with your partner. Eventually though, work, kids, responsibilities, and life in general tend to get in the way of your relationship with your spouse. The two of you stop doing fun things with only one another, and it’s easy to go weeks at a time without having any serious conversations that don’t revolve around work, money, or kids. That’s why it’s imperative to set aside time to date your spouse.

“Vow to take the time to invest in the romantic part of your relationship,” Patkin advises. “It may not seem important, but this is the cornerstone of a good marriage. Without that so-called ‘spark,’ the other parts of your life, like work and kids, will suffer too. Try to act like you did when you were both in the infatuation period of your relationship: Bring home flowers or other small gifts. Plan a special date night (maybe involving a babysitter this time around!). Get tickets to the reunion tour of a band you and your spouse loved when you first began dating. Basically, get back to the essence of how you fell in love in the first place!”

“I hope that once you begin celebrating, respecting, and loving your spouse as I’ve just described, as well as prioritizing your marriage every day, you’ll find that the whole dynamic of your relationship changes,” Patkin concludes. “I hope that you’ll begin smiling more, feeling better, and experiencing more ‘spark.’ It’s true: Everything—and especially our own happiness—really is, to a huge extent, about our relationships with other people. And I think Cupid would agree!”

# # #

About the Author:
Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. Todd lives with his wonderful wife, Yadira, their amazing son, Josh, and two great dogs, Tucker and Hunter.

Not only is cooking with your child fun, it can also be very educational. I have taught my daughter how to stir, add water, and measure. Her favorite cooking experience was making a cake for mother’s day, she really enjoyed putting the sprinkles on the cake. As holidays are approaching, we have already made a list of goods to bake for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. To start off our journey in baking, Sesame Street has released a book, “B i s for Baking” which is perfect for a stocking stuffer or a Christmas present for your child.

“B is for Baking” has 50 nutritious meals for you and your child to make together. Most of the meals are made from scratch, healthy, and easy to make. There are different recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and of course the special occasions. My daughter and I made our favorite, Banana Nut Bread.I smashed up the bananas and she added all the ingredients and stirred. “B is for Baking” gives tips to let you know when child can participate and when adults should perform the task, such as putting the food into the oven or using a knife. Of course the kitchen was a little messy from the flour and the stirring, but the experience was fun and the bread was delicious.

You can purchase “B is for Baking” at Amazon.com for only $11.55.

Dinosaur Dig! by Penny Dale

What an adorable book to read to your child.  My son and daughter both love all things animal related, heavy vehicles and dirt- everything this book includes.  Not only does it offer detailed in colorful illustrations, but it encourages learning.   The vehicles included in this story are steamrollers, dump trucks, crane truck , loader and more. Some of the dinosaurs are : Triceratops, Iguanodon, Tyrannosauarus Rex, Stegasaurus, and more. Each page shows the dinosaurs doing something to build a structure.  The kids could not wait to get to the end to see what structure this team of dinosaurs was creating!

Though my daughter is at the age where paperback books are becoming more appropriate, she is still very  much in love with her board books.  Her favorite kind?  The touch and feel variety.  Candlewick’s newest character Noodle is absolutely adorable.  He’s busy, inquisitive and absolutely darling!  The pages of these books are filled with simple rhyming texts, which is great for peaking the interest of little ones.  In the book, Noodle shows us all the way in which he likes to have fun, but out of all the things Noodle likes to do, his favorite thing is to cuddle with Mommy.

My daughter, bless her little heart, is not a fan of bedtime.  Some nights she will go down with less of a fight than others, but she still makes in clear to us that she is against it.  Addie loves reading about Noodle’s bedtime routine and is learning in the process.  As we read the pages together, she compares her bedtime routine to that of Noodle.  Addie has even gone as far as retelling the story with her own routine included.  Such an awesome book to read to little ones to prove to them just how nice bedtime can really be.

Our names will be forever connected with one of the most significant medical errors ever made inside a fertility clinic. In February 2009, through a process referred to as a frozen embryo transfer, another couple’s embryos were mistakenly transferred into my body. Eight months later, I gave birth to a baby boy who we relinquished to his genetic parents a few minutes after delivery. Following the pregnancy, it became important to us that this mistake never happen again. Through research and asking questions of fertility specialists, our list of concerns has grown past the obvious need to make sure proper patient safety protocols are in place, to include even graver concerns with regards to how human embryos are handled. Who is making decisions about which embryos are transferred, cryopreserved, and discarded?

We thought we had control regarding how our embryos were handled. Turns out, we were wrong.

As part of the investigation into how the wrong embryos were transferred into me, we requested my medical records. While reviewing the documentation from our first in vitro fertilization in August 2006, we were saddened to learn that three of our embryos were handled in a manner that conflicted with our personal beliefs, which we thought we had clarified when Sean and I signed a Consent to Freeze form provided by our clinic. This form directed the clinic to cryopreserve any unused, viable embryos following my embryo transfer. The morning of my original IVF transfer, we had five viable embryos that had developed to the blastocyst/morula stage. We chose to transfer two. What we didn’t know was that our three unused embryos were going to be held out of cryopreservation for two additional days, in an attempt to see if they eventually met the clinic’s unique quality standards that determine which embryos are frozen. Sean and I assumed that if they were alive the day of transfer, they would be frozen following our transfer. We had no idea that behind the scenes, in a lab that we had no access to, our three embryos were going to be measured against a standard that had never been explained to us.

Consent to Freeze forms are signed by patients every day inside fertility clinics across the world. Yet embryos that qualify for cryopreservation in one clinic may not qualify for cryopreservation by the standards of another. There is no industry wide standard for grading the quality of human embryos. Clinics determine which grading scales they use and set their own unique criteria to freeze. We have even learned of instances where doctors within the same clinic use different criteria to determine embryonic viability.

The truth is that no embryo grading scale can determine, with certainty, which embryos will turn into healthy babies. High-grade embryos often fail to yield pregnancies and poor grade embryos are capable of producing perfectly healthy babies. Logan Morell, the little boy I gave birth to as a result of the mistaken transfer, was born from an embryo that was given a poor quality grade. We have learned through research that many fertility doctors would have canceled my frozen embryo transfer because Logan’s embryo wasn’t good enough. Thank goodness our doctor left that decision to us. We believe the choice of whether to transfer or not, whether to freeze or not, belongs to the patient.

Do fertility doctors play God during the IVF process? When they take decisions about the fate of human embryos out of the hands of patients, we believe they do. Sean and I admit we made an incorrect assumption about the meaning of a Consent to Freeze form. We didn’t know to ask about our clinic’s criteria. We didn’t think to give specific instructions to freeze our unused embryos immediately following my transfer regardless of their quality ratings. These are mistakes that we have to live with, and it’s tough. All three of those embryos had higher quality ratings than Logan’s embryo. We’ll never know if they might have become a child.

Sean and I believe decisions regarding medical treatments should always be between a patient and the doctor. But with little regulation and almost no oversight in the fertility industry, it is imperative that patients educate themselves thoroughly about their clinic’s procedures. Patients should ask for a copy of their fertility clinic’s embryo grading system. In addition, the clinic should provide couples a detailed explanation of the criteria used to determine if an embryo is fit for transfer, or fit for cryopreservation. After reviewing these policies, patients must clearly communicate in writing their desires. For patients to make informed decisions, they should communicate daily with the clinic staff about embryonic development. If a doctor refuses these requests, find a new clinic!

We believe in vitro fertilization is God given technology, just like open heart surgery, chemotherapy, and antibiotics. We are also aware that the science of assisted reproductive medicine poses ethical questions that require serious thought. Many have condemned the medical treatments available to infertile couples because they believe it “interferes with nature” or “circumvents God’s role in creation.” Sean and I wholeheartedly disagree. IVF has helped us bring our daughter into the world, and we have no doubt that in time, she will positively impact the lives of the people around her. Regardless of one’s opinion about assisted reproductive techniques, it is in the best interests of fertility professionals and patients that protocols ensure patient safety; that communications about human embryos are clear and concise; and that there is complete transparency in the process of assisted reproductive techniques.

© 2011 Carolyn Savage, author of Inconceivable: A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn’t Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift

Author Bios
Sean and Carolyn Savage’s, story was covered widely when they gave birth to the baby boy in September 2009, including People magazine and on The Today Show. In Inconceivable: A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn’t Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift, they are telling the entire story for the very first time.  Sean and Carolyn live in Ohio with their two teenage sons and a two-year-old daughter

But when Idol debuted on the US airwaves in 2002, such a phenomenon was relatively unknown.  The internet was still in its infancy and network programming was a remote, pristine world, largely untouched by the hurly burly press.

What brought Idol out of its shell was the steady stream of scandals it provided as fodder for the ravenous new media.  Each year it seemed, some gotcha shattered Idol’s peace, some disqualification brought it face to face with the public beast.

Ten years later, the stream of scandals doesn’t seem to have hurt entertainment’s greatest juggernaut.  If anything, the blow-ups have kept us all talking about the show, even when the singing got a little dull.

Here then, in order of appearance, are the ten greatest scandals of Idol’s first decade:

10. Justin Talks Back
When Pop Idol debuted in the UK, judge Simon Cowell quickly became the man the nation loved to hate, and contestants who talked back to him became heroes for fighting the grinch.  Such was not to be the case in the US. Riding high as the Season 1 front runner, when Justin Guarini suffered his first off-night, he was visibly shaken, and responded to Cowell’s harsh critique with a relatively mild retort, “I want see what the audience thinks.”

9. The First Ringer: Kelly Clarkson.
It has become an annual tradition; the discovery each year that a certain contestant is not as amateur as the driven snow but has performed on stage. Some even on stages in Hollywood. In general this recurring scandal stems from a general misunderstanding of the Idol rules.  Contestants are not, as producers explain each year, required like Olympic athletes to be untouched amateurs, never paid for their work.  The rules only demand that contestants not be under any current contract when they join the show.  In the end, this confusion comes down to Idol’s audiences being more catholic than the pope; having expectations of the singers above what is actually required by the show.

The very first Idol was also the very first accused ringer.  While on the show, Kelly Clarkson was portrayed as a happy go lucky Texas tomboy in pigtails.  However when the news came out just after the season ended that she had in fact not only lived in Hollywood, but recorded music with A list producers, many in the press cried foul.  Kelly proved however to be the teflon champion, so likable and beloved that no accusations would ever stick to the first Idol.

8. Frenchie Davis
The Godmother of all Idol sex scandals. In the years since, risque photos have surfaced of many a contestant.  But when the videos of Season Two early frontrunner Frenchie Davis came to light, it was no ground for the show which prompted a round of soul searching among the producers.  Ultimately the nature of the videos – a sex act performed upon a beverage container on a site entitled “Daddy’s Little Girl”  proved too hot for Idol and Frenchie became the first public disqualification in the show’s history.  While no serious contender has been eliminated for similiar reasons since, no images have since surfaced to rival the triple X octane of Frenchie’s.

7. Corey Clark
Just a couple months after Idol’s first disqualification with Frenchie, the show eliminated yet another contestant when it came to light that sleepy eyed bad boy Corey Clark was wanted in his home state of Kansas for battery of his 15 year old sister and assaulting a police officer.  Clark was given a chance to explain on the air before he was sent home to face the music (he ultimately pleaded no contest and was sentenced to six months probation). The arrest apparently hadn’t come up on background checks because the police had misspelled Clark’s name on the official report.  Getting one last moment on the Idol stage did little, however, to assuage Clark’s sense of injustice at being disqualified.  He left the Idoldome, but would come back to haunt it again years later, when he would provoke the mother of all Idol scandals.

6. Clay Aiken Cheated?
Accusations of vote fraud would become the permanent background noise of American Idol finales, but in Season Two a rare Seacrest flub started the ball rolling.  Twice in show, Seacrest misstated the gap between Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken, saying first that out of 24 million votes cast, only 13,000 separated them.   Later in the show, he attempted to correct that statement, clarifying that the winner had won with 50.28 percent of the vote – which would add up to a number some ten times larger than the previously stated 13,000.  The following day, Fox felt compelled to put out a statement explaining that Ruben had in fact won by 130,000 votes.  But it was too late; a thousand conspiracy theories had been launched and to this day, tribes of Claymates roam the land believing their hero was cheated of his rightful crown.

5. Corey Clark, Part 2
Beaten but not bowed, Corey Clark darkened Idol’s doorstep once more.  In 2005, he reappeared giving an interview to ABC’s Primetime Live claiming that while on Idol he had had a clandestine affair with Judge Paula Abdul, who secretly coached him through the contest.  On the show he played a voice mail message purported to be from Paula, in which she seemed to be telling him to keep quiet about their relationship.  In the furor that followed, pundits opined that Fox would have to dump its star if the show was to remain credible.  But Idol stood by its gal and toughed it out, denying Clark’s charges.  Ultimately, the media narrative turned against ABC, accusing them of sleaze in trying to damage a rival show.  Paula survived and even turned up on Saturday Live to mock the accusations, but it was a very close call.

4. Sanjaya and the Rise of Vote For the Worst.
Each season had seen a contestant that the caused the pundits to tear their hair out wondering, how does this no talent survive.  But none caused more heartburn than Season 6′s Sanjaya Malakar, who openly seemed to mock the hallowed Idoldome stage.  Looking for an explanation for Sanjaya’s longevity, the press turned to a heretofore little known site called Vote For the Worst, which led an anti-Idol movement, encouraging haters to subvert Idol from within by supporting the least talented contestants.  Early in the season, the site had thrown its weight behind Sanjaya, as had radio host Howard Stern.  Sanjaya made it to only to seventh place, but not before becoming the show’s permanent anti-hero.

3. David Hernandez Breaks the Gay/Straight Barrier
When evidence emerged that Season 7′s David Hernandez had worked as a gay stripper, it was Idol’s first open encounter with the question of sexual orientation.  Many wondered whether the family friendly show could afford to keep Hernandez on.  In the end, the scandal turned out to be a non-event.  Idol let the viewers decide the question, and they kept Hernandez around for another week.

2. Paula and the Performance that Wasn’t
Since it’s earliest days, Paula’s tongue-tied seemingly ditzyness was one the show’s great subplots.  However, in Season 7, when she critiqued  a performance that had not yet occurred,  it seemed like something worse was afoot.   Speculation varied from on air substance abuse to evidence that the producers were fixing the contest.  Paula later explained that a last second change of format had led to the confusion.  The show, again, stood by its judge, but this time, there were no jokes about the subject to be heard on American Idol.

1. Cell Phone Gate
Since the defeat of Clay Aiken, no loss has sparked as many conspiracies theories as Adam Lambert’s in Season 8 at the hands of Kris Allen. The scuttlebutt among Lambert’s fantatical following was flamed when Immediately after the finale it came out that Idol sponsor AT&T had handed out special phones at Kris-boosting parties in Arkansas which allowed the recipents to place huge numbers of calls.  No evidence has surfaced that the number of votes cast was sufficent to influence the outcome in an election where tens of millions of votes were tallied, but again, the cat was out of the bag and the Glamberts joined the ranks of Idol’s permanently aggrieved.

© 2011 Richard Rushfield, author of American Idol: The Untold Story

Felicity and Cordelia are two bunny friends.  They are as different as night and day! One day Felicity decides to go for a ride in a hot air balloon.  Cordelia stays home as she has no wish for high adventure.  Felicity on the way gets lost and lands far away from home.  All the while Cordelia is at home looking out the window hoping her friend is safe.  It’s a wonderful story for all ages and helps one realize the true meaning of caring deeply for someone, and what friendship truly is. The illustrations are just remarkable and beautifully done. A beautiful hardcover book gift worthy for any occasion! It gives a new meaning to the phrase” There’s no place like home”! My granddaughter Chloe just loves this book and it is her new bedtime story to read.  Preschool-Kindergarten.

Another addition to the collection of “I Used to Know This Stuff” books, this is filled with old fashioned sayings we all heard as kids growing up.  If you want to get a fantastic gift for someone get them this collection.  They will enjoy it and maybe even pass it on to their kids!

From Old Testament proverbs to modern phrases like “the best things in life are free,” An Apple a Day takes a fun look at expressions that “have stood the test of time.”
Read through from start to finish or search through the list of hundreds of the most common proverbs, arranged from A to Z for easy reference. You’ll learn about each proverb’s surprising origins, why some are valid and others are not, the derivation and meanings behind them, and their relevance in today’s society.
Includes entries like:

• · Two heads are better than one: Like the less-familiar “Four eyes see better than two,” this proverb extols the benefits of having someone else help you make up your mind-and it’s a view that goes back to at least the fourteenth century. But while it is always useful to have a second opinion (A sounding board? Someone else to blame?) it might also be worth bearing in mind the disadvantages of design or decision-making by committee: something that really pleases no one. So whereas two heads may well be better than one, three could be a crowd.
• · Laughter is the best medicine: This idea is an ancient one and is found in, appropriately, the book of Proverbs: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” It has prompted a surprising amount of research, with the result that some scientists claim that laughter has the same benefits as a mild workout-it stretches muscles, sends more oxygen to the tissues, and generally makes you feel healthier. One study even claims that laughing heartily for 10-15 minutes burns 50 calories. But let’s pause for thought here. The world may laugh with you over a joke or a rerun of Seinfeld, but if you make a habit of laughing heartily for 10-15 minutes for no apparent reason, the world is going to think you are nuts and cross the street to avoid you. It may be worth striving for a happy medium.
• · An apple a day keeps the doctor away: A common British folk saying, this is one of the few proverbs that can be taken at face value. All it means is that apples are good for you. The Romans knew this and so did the Anglo-Saxons, who listed the crabapple as one of the nine healing plants given to the world by the god Woden. They probably didn’t know, as we now do, that apples contain fiber, antioxidants, and sundry vitamins and minerals that help to prevent osteoporosis, heart disease, and various forms of cancer. But they did know that they were cooling, cleansing, and soothing, whether taken as a natural diuretic or applied externally to inflammations. An anonymous medieval text called The Haven of Health recommended eating an apple to “relieve your feelings” if you were going to bed alone, while Ayurvedic medicine says that apples cure headaches and promote vitality. So the jury is out on whether or not apples are good for your sex life, but they are certainly good for pretty much everything else. Guaranteed to amuse and inform, this is the perfect gift for any language lover. Make this and all of the Reader’s Digest Version books a permanent fixture on your eReader, and you’ll have instant access to searchable knowledge. Whether you need homework help or want to win that trivia game, this series is the trusted source for fun facts.

About the Author

Caroline Taggart is the author of the best-selling I Used to Know That and The Classics and coauthor of My Grammar and I . . . Or Should That Be Me? She is also the editor of Writer’s Market UK & Ireland, a guide for aspiring writers. She has worked in publishing for more than thirty years, the last twenty in nonfiction.

GRAMMY ® and GMA Dove Award winning,  multi-platinum selling recording artist Michael W. Smith reaches another milestone in his 28 year career with the release his 12th book,  “A Simple Blessing; The Extraordinary Power of an Ordinary Prayer,” in March 2011 (Zondervan).

What an inspiration this book was.  I have always been a fan of Michael W. Smith, and I can now add his books to my collection.  A great story and heartwarming gift he has given us.  I loved the honesty in which he writes and the love you felt through him through his book.  Wonderful!

Smith, known for his compassion and generosity, has been impacted by stories of those hardest-hit by life changing devastation.  From the effects of the economic downturn to families losing loved ones to natural disasters half a world away.   Recently, Smith has felt led to close his concerts with a prayer of blessing over his audience.  A simple prayer of blessing, sparked a response unlike anything he’s experienced in his 28 years of ministry.

Letters and e-mails poured in, relaying stories of the encouragement, empowerment and hope brought to troubled lives.  An organic move to prayer is taking place.

From this response Smith discovered that God’s blessings are measured more by the flourishing of character in adversity than the flourishing of possessions, and that the result in such is overflowing joy and peace. Collaborating with accomplished writer Thomas Williams, Smith’s desire and purpose in writing the book was to encourage and inspire readers to examine their hearts and learn to experience God’s blessing as well as to speak words of blessing to others to draw them nearer to the heart of God.

This book breaks the prayer Smith prays into its six specific Blessings: What Does It Mean to Pray for Others, The Prayer for Spiritual Health, The Prayer for a Pure Mind, The Prayer for Personal Holiness, The Prayer for Backyard Blessings, and The Prayer for Spiritual Victory. Each chapter begins with a quote containing the segment of the blessing it will address. Then the chapter explains the value of the blessing and gives practical guidance on how to open oneself to the blessing and enjoy its benefits.   An example of one blessing is in The Prayer for a Pure Mind:

Be blessed with supernatural strength to turn your eyes from foolish, worthless, and

evil things, and to shut out the demeaning and the negative. Instead may you behold the

beauty of things that God has planned for you as you obey His Word. May God bless you

ears to hear the lovely, the uplifting, and the encouraging. May your mind be strong,

disciplined, balanced, and faith-filled.
Following the blessing Smith goes on to describe how the impact of our culture is determining how our minds are affected (or not) by entertainment:  “We’re being conditioned to accept the negative as the normal. From time to time I’ve expressed to friends my disappointment with a TV show or my longing for a movie with a hero I could admire for his values or his refusal to compromise. More often than not, the response I get is that I’m not moving with the times. The movies of the past were not realistic, they tell me….They want movie heroes with real flaws like the rest of us. No one is altogether pure or altogether evil. And if movies, TV shows, and novels are honest, they will give us characters who reflect that natural mixture.”

And then in approaching the value of the blessing he says : “I know that today’s movie critics would dismiss films such as ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ as unrealistic, wishful fantasies with impossibly good heroes and sappy happy-ever-after endings…I beg to differ. The grunge, corruption, immorality, and violence that critics like to call reality are not reality at all. The true reality is found beneath the blight in what God created in the beginning — the perfection of the world as he originally made it. Only the good that God created is real. We came along and added the corruption, evil, pain, decay, and death, which are not reality but contaminations of reality…. The story God wrote has a happy-ever-after ending that promises eternal joy to those who focus on the pure and lovely and adopt true character into their lives. If we focus our eyes and ears on things that give us glimpses of that happy reality, it will go a long way toward enabling us to receive the blessings God wants to pour into us.”

Smith recently wrapped the very successful “Make A Difference” Tour with Max Lucado , TobyMac and Third Day, and recently launched his, “It’s a Wonderful Christmas” tour on November 26^th in his hometown of Nashville, Tenn.   He also recently announced the “2 Friends” tour with Amy Grant, which marks the first time the two will tour together (for a non-holiday tour) in more than two decades.  The multi-city U.S. tour will kick off in early February.

For more information on “A Simple Blessing; The Extraordinary Power of an Ordinary Prayer,” and Michael W. Smith, please visit http://www.michaelwsmith.com

On Wednesday, November 10 2010, 200 bloggers simultaneously published reviews of 200 books printed on environmentally-friendly paper. By turning a spotlight on books printed using greener methods, Eco-Libris aims to raise consumer awareness about considering the environment when making book purchases. This year’s participation of both bloggers and books has doubled from the event’s inception last year.

The 200 books to be reviewed are in a variety of subjects including cooking, poetry, travel, green living, and history, and come from 56 publishers from the U.S., Canada, Australia, and the U.K. that are participating in the Green Books Campaign. This diversified group of publishers includes both small and large presses who all print books on recycled and/or FSC-certified paper.

Participating publishers include among others Penguin  Group, Scholastic, Barefoot Books, McClelland & Stewart, Simon and Schuster Children’s Publishing, Sterling Publishing, DK Publishing, Harvard Business Press, Island Press, North Atlantic Books, McGraw-Hill, ABRAMS and Picador.

I chose: Crystals and Stones: A Complete Guide to Their Healing Properties helps readers to incorporate the healing power of stones into daily life. Aimed at both beginners and experts, the book showcases nearly 200 crystals and stones, describing their impact on human beings’ physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual states. The book begins with historical background and practical considerations, such as how stones work and how to clean and recharge their energy. The relationship of stones to chakras is explored, as are practices such as channeling via certain powerful crystals. The heart of the book is an A to Z guide covering everything from amber to zoisite that explains which stones are most effective for particular medical conditions, emotional and energy blockages, and spiritual impasses. Stones and crystals have been important tools for health and spiritual transformation for millennia. This book shows modern readers how to best utilize those tools.

“If we could follow the step by step transformation of coal into diamond, we would discover what enabled Prince Siddhartha to ‘awaken’ and become this Being of Light known to this day as the Buddha.”—from the book

I loved this book as it was so detailed and gave me the information on stones and crystals I really wanted.  It was loaded with really great information, and anyone who is looking for a supurb book on stones and crystals this is the book!

“Although there’s so much hype around e-books, books printed on paper still dominate the book market, and we want them to be as environmentally sound as possible,” explains Raz Godelnik, co-founder and CEO of Eco-Libris. “Their share is still relatively small, but you can find a growing number of books printed responsibly and we hope this initiative will bring more exposure to such books. Through this campaign we want to encourage publishers to increase their green printing options and readers to take the environment into consideration when purchasing books.”

Doug Pepper, president and publisher of 100-year-old publishing house
McClelland & Stewart, says he is delighted to participate in a program that ties in with the company’s mission.  “The Eco-Libris Green Books Campaign’s positive “take action” message perfectly reflects our consistent use of recycled papers and our commitment to sustainable publishing as a whole,” Pepper says.

Among the bloggers who will review the books there are many who participate in the campaign for the second time. One of them is Kim Allen-Niesen of the blog ‘Bookstore People‘. “Participating in the Green Books Campaign was such an education in green reading.  I didn’t have any idea how many publishers and writers are committed to creating books with as small an impact on the environment as possible.  I discovered unique books because they were printed on recycled paper and I learned that books I’ve read for years are printed in a low impact manner.  I’m looking forward to more surprises during this year’s campaign, “Allen-Niesen says.

This year’s campaign is supported by Indigo Books & Music, the largest book retailer in Canada, as part of its efforts to draw attention to the need for more environmental paper in book publishing. This is a core goal of Indigo’s environmental program, reinforced by Indigo’s industry leading environmental paper policy.

Michelle White, Director, Sustainability at Indigo Books & Music said, “Indigo has a strong forest conservation mandate and we believe that physical books printed on environmental paper are a sustainable choice. We commend Eco- Libris for reinforcing this message and engaging and motivating readers to take this issue into consideration when purchasing books. In fact, Indigo provides information online and through in-store kiosk that allows consumers to make informed decisions about where the paper content of their book comes from”. Learn more at http://www.chapters.indigo.ca.

Learn more about the Green Books Campaign and find a list of all participants at http://www.ecolibris.net/greenbookscampaign2010.asp

Stranded in Mesa Blanco, Texas, with no money and no prospects, Emily Lathrop hires on as the cook at the Lazy Aces Ranch. Two problems—she can’t cook, and owner Wyatt Cavanaugh is so hot she nearly burns herself just standing near him. Trying to keep her hormones under control is a problem when Wyatt seduces her into his bed and teaches her the real meaning of erotic love.

Now proper Emily finds herself shockingly addicted to the BDSM games he likes to play, her body craving the bondage and domination that pushes her thermostat past the point of combustion even though she suspects it’s all going to come crashing down any moment with a big, painful thud.

Warning: Light BDSM scenes

I enjoyed Holt’s book immensely. I recently have found their is nothing sexier than a cowboy with an alpha male personality. Something about those tight jeans, boots and the hat makes my heart swoon and my body heat up! Wyatt is all those things and more. He is not only an alpha male but he is incredibly patient with Emily even hiring her a teacher to show her the ropes of the kitchen. It is far more than most bosses would do but then again he wants to do far more to her than what most boss and employee relationships would offer.

I enjoyed the entire book and I cannot wait to see what Holt writes in the future. It was beyond steamy, and beyond well written!