Tess, an aspiring seamstress, thinks she’s had an incredibly lucky break when she is hired by famous designer Lady Lucile Duff Gordon to be a personal maid on the Titanic’s doomed voyage. Once on board, Tess catches the eye of two men, one a roughly-hewn but kind sailor and the other an enigmatic Chicago millionaire. But on the fourth night, disaster strikes.

Amidst the chaos and desperate urging of two very different suitors, Tess is one of the last people allowed on a lifeboat. Tess’s sailor also manages to survive unharmed, witness to Lady Duff Gordon’s questionable actions during the tragedy. Others—including the gallant Midwestern tycoon—are not so lucky.

On dry land, rumors about the survivors begin to circulate, and Lady Duff Gordon quickly becomes the subject of media scorn and later, the hearings on the Titanic. Set against a historical tragedy but told from a completely fresh angle, The Dressmaker is an atmospheric delight filled with all the period’s glitz and glamour, all the raw feelings of a national tragedy and all the contradictory emotions of young love.

The Dressmaker is such a wonderful story.  So many stories today regarding the Titanic are surrounded by the launch, the events aboard the Titanic, the sinking and the chaos that ensued on their way to being rescued.  Very little of these stories is about the recuse on the Carpathia or the hearings that followed upon their arrival in New York City.  Approximately only twenty pages of this book were spent aboard the Titanic, while the remaining 280 pages were based upon the rescue, the hearings and historical context of the changing dynamics in NYC.

Quite honestly, it was a very quick and pleasant read.  I highly recommend this book to anyone look for a good, relaxing read.

Randy Riley’s Really Big Hit
By Chris Van Dusen

“Randy may be an easy out with a bat, but his heroism merits a spot at the heart of any budding geek’s lineup.” -Booklist

Randy likes space, robots, and baseball, but he can’t ace everything . . . or can he? Chris Van Dusen knocks one out of the park with a comical ode to ingenuity.

February 2012, ISBN: 9780763649463, $15.99 (Hardcover), Ages 4 to 7, 32 Pages

There Goes Ted Williams
The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived
By Matt Tavares

“This is a glorious tribute to a baseball legend and a complicated human being.” –School Library Journal

A lively picture book biography of Ted Williams from a master of the genre – just in time for Fenway Park’s centennial!

February 2012, ISBN: 9780763627898, $16.99 (Hardcover), Ages 6 to 10, 40 Pages

Just As Good
How Larry Doby Changed America’s Game
By Chris Crowe, Illustrated by Mike Benny

“A compelling look at one of the game’s trailblazers.” – School Library Journal

Batter up for the first-ever children’s book about Larry Doby, the first African-American player to hit a home run in the World Series.

January 2012, ISBN: 9780763650261, $16.99 (Hardcover), Ages 6 to 10), 32 Pages

Zachary’s Ball – now in a new edition!

Zachary’s Ball
-Anniversary Edition-
By Matt Tavares

“Zachary’s Ball is a children’s classic.” -Peter Gammons, hall-of-Fame baseball reporter

February 2012, ISBN: 9780763650339, $15.99 (Hardcover), Ages 6 to 10, 32 Pages

About These Books

Baseball was such a big part of my family growing up.  My grandfather played for the Minor Leagues, my brother was an amazing player and I followed suit.  Reading these books to my son gave me the opportunity to not only share our families passion with him, but also our family history.  There Goes Ted Williams The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived & Just As Good gave me the chance to share a story about two of the many great baseball legends.  I was thoroughly impressed with the story lines and amazing illustrations of not only these two books, but the other two as well.  Definitely must have and must read books for a family who enjoys baseball!

Worms, monsters, zebras and hippopotamuses are only a few of the imaginative children’s book characters to appear in specially-marked Cheerios® this year as part of the Cheerios Spoonfuls of Stories® program. Through the program, which is celebrating its 10-year anniversary this spring, Cheerios distributes six million bilingual children’s books from award-winning authors free inside cereal boxes.

• Peeny Butter Fudge, by Toni and Slade Morrison and illustrated by Joe Cepeda:
• Mostly Monsterly, by Tammi Sauer and illustrated by Scott Magoon
• Noodle & Lou, by Elizabeth Garton Scanlon and illustrated by Arthur Howard
• If I Were a Jungle Animal, by Amanda Ellery and illustrated by Tom Ellery
• Hello Baby, by Mem Fox and illustrated by Steve Jenkins
• Can I Just Take a Nap?, by Ron Rauss and illustrated by Rob Shepperson

About Cheerios
Cheerios, America’s No. 1 cereal, debuted in 1941 as Cheerioats. The nation’s first ready-to-eat oat cereal has since become one of the most trusted and recognized brands in America. In fact, one of every 10 boxes of cereal sold in America is a box of Cheerios. General Mills’ popular franchise includes Cheerios, Honey Nut Cheerios, Multi Grain Cheerios, Multi Grain Cheerios Peanut Butter, Chocolate Cheerios, Frosted Cheerios, Fruity Cheerios, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, Dulce de Leche Cheerios, Berry Burst Cheerios, Yogurt Burst Cheerios, Banana Nut Cheerios and Cheerios Crunch. Cheerios also has a publishing division that includes the popular Cheerios Play Books and other activity books.
For more information, go to www.cheerios.com.

About General Mills
One of the world’s leading food companies, General Mills operates in more than 100 countries and markets more than 100 consumer brands, including Cheerios, Häagen-Dazs, Nature Valley, Betty Crocker, Pillsbury, Green Giant, Old El Paso, Progresso, Yoplait, Cascadian Farm, Muir Glen, and more. Headquartered in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA, General Mills had fiscal 2010 global net sales of US$16 billion, including the company’s $1.2 billion proportionate share of joint venture net sales.

About First Book
First Book has distributed more than 90 million books and educational resources to programs and schools serving children from low-income families throughout the United States and Canada. By making new, high-quality books available on an ongoing basis, First Book is transforming the lives of children in need and elevating the quality of education. For more information, please visit www.firstbook.org or follow their latest news on Facebook and Twitter.

Although the book has not yet reached book stores (it will be available in April 2012), I recommend keeping it in mind the next time you are looking for a children’s book.  I would consider putting this one on my must-have list!

A bear goes over the mountain to see what he can see, hear what he can hear, smell what he can smell, touch what he can touch, and taste what he can taste; what a busy bear! When he sets out on a sunny morning in spring he uses all five of his senses to explore the world around him. He smells a skunk (yuck!) and sweet honeysuckle vines (yum!). He sees dragonflies and fuzzy ducklings, he hears crickets chirping, he touches a soft flower blossom, and more! When the chill of autumn comes creeping up over the mountain, he goes back to his cave for a snuggly sleep.

While this may not have been a book I would have typically pulled from the shelf at our local book store, it was definitely enjoyable and taught several lessons about life, friendship and determination.  My children loved hearing this story and asked that I read it to them again and again (making it three times that it was read in one evening).  I would definitely suggest this book to anyone look for something new, adventurous and with great meaning.  You can purchase this book from places like Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com!

And here’s the worst part: lately, the bar is so low you find yourself celebrating the mere fact that you survived another day. To be energized and fulfilled—well, that’s so far at the top of your hierarchy of needs that you can’t even see it for the cloud cover.

Women should not accept this state of stressed-out existence and call it living, insists Vickie Milazzo. You can lead a successful life and cultivate a wellspring of energy that will renew your mind, body, and soul every day—but first you’ve got to give yourself a break.

“Today’s woman has taken on an extreme life crammed to overflowing with commitments and responsibility,” observes Milazzo, author of the new book Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman. “It’s not possible to stretch yourself to the breaking point every day and not break.

“You wouldn’t expect a battery to keep going forever without recharging it, and you shouldn’t expect it of yourself either,” she adds. “Women need to learn to revitalize their minds, bodies, emotions, and spirits frequently, so that they’ll have abundant energy whenever they need it.”

Milazzo suggests that women try to look objectively at their lives and routines, as though they were happening to a good friend. What advice would you give her?

“You’d probably tell this ‘friend’ to slow down, take a few deep breaths, and spend a few minutes doing something enjoyable before the next day and its demands come crashing in,” Milazzo guesses. “You know that this advice is sound, too…so listen.”

Milazzo speaks from experience. After working (overtime) for six years as a registered nurse, in 1982 she faced the reality that she was unsatisfied with her career, financially strapped, and burned out across the board.

“I realized that if I wanted to thrive instead of just survive, the first thing I needed to do was cultivate a fulfilling relationship with myself,” she recalls. “Yes, I know that it might seem impossible to take even one moment out of your overscheduled life, but I promise you that it can be done. Too often, our own behaviors and habits sabotage us and prevent us from taking the renewal steps we need for restoration, causing us to slip further and further into the desperate state we’re trying to escape.”

The fact is, every woman needs to renew and refuel her body, feelings, mind, and spirit on a regular basis, so that she can reflect on what’s important and maintain perspective and equilibrium. And with habitual rejuvenation, promises Milazzo, you’ll be able to complete your daily tasks while having the energy to pursue your big goals and passions…and still have some vigor left over for great sex!

Read on for eight of Milazzo’s tried-and-true suggestions to help you renew yourself in the midst of your manic life:

Plan for renewal. With days, weeks, and months that are packed full of responsibility, you can’t exactly head to the spa, to the nearest mountain for a hike, or to wherever you go to relax and reflect on a moment’s notice. (Heck, you can’t even paint your own toenails in the bathroom without being interrupted!) So if you want to renew your energy, you’re going to have to schedule time for relaxation just as systematically as you would plan to complete a long-term project at work. If you keep waiting for the right moment to kick back and smell the roses, it’ll never happen because life will get in the way.

“Remember, what gets scheduled gets done,” Milazzo shares. “If renewal time is really a priority for you, it will be on your calendar. Period. So you need to make sure that no one—including you—overbooks your time. Over the years, I have learned to schedule everything from vacations to massages to daily quiet time and exercise in my planner. I have also learned that what you’re striving for shouldn’t be a balanced day, but a balanced life. For example, if I know I’m about to take a totally unplugged vacation, I’m willing to work some 14-hour days beforehand. The key is to feel that you are in control of your life instead of the other way around.”

Renew physically. While many of us would like to think that frequent trips through the drive-through don’t have that much of an ill effect, the truth is that these empty calories have a negative impact on our short- and long-term health. The same goes for poor sleep and insufficient exercise. Look honestly at your eating, fitness, and resting habits. Are they helping or hurting? If it’s the latter, you need to know that it’s not only your body that’s affected; your productivity, energy, creativity, and motivation will also take a hit.

“Physical health is necessary for any kind of success, because increased energy opens up all kinds of doors,” Milazzo asserts. “There’s no need to make a ton of drastic changes all at once, but over time you do need to shoot for a balanced, nutritious diet, regular exercise, and—of course!—the chance to relax with a massage, a facial, or a soak in the tub. No matter how smart you are or how much potential you have, you’ll never get anywhere if your body is sluggish and running on empty.”

Renew emotionally. These days there’s certainly more than enough to worry about: healthcare, cutbacks at work, your dwindling bank account, the price of gas…the list goes on. It’s easy to spend all of your energy fretting and contingency planning. Sooner or later, though, you’ll hit emotional rock bottom (if you haven’t already), and you’ll go through life bitter, put-upon, and exhausted. Plus, if you don’t renew emotionally, you’re likely to overreact or underreact to various situations, which will only multiply the number of things you have to fret about! To avoid this fate, you need to allow your emotions to recover and be uplifted on a regular basis.

“If you barrel through life with an unhealthy sense of urgency, you will never enjoy anything,” says Milazzo. “You must learn to enjoy the moment and cultivate calm, not always be pushing. Whether you plan a vacation, have a cup of tea, or go on a walk, think of being kind to yourself as a necessity, not a luxury. Allow yourself to get away from it all from time to time so that when you re-enter the fray, you’ll have freshly buoyed emotions to sustain you.”

Renew spiritually. All other types of renewal will be temporary fixes unless you have a deep-seated sense of serenity within you to draw upon. Spiritual discipline is definitely a journey, not a destination, but its benefits are peace, calm, and enlightenment. Figure out what works for you, whether it’s meditation, prayer, study, service, or something else, and incorporate it into your routine. Just a few “time-out” moments at the beginning and end of each day can make a significant impact.

“Spiritual renewal is important for me, because I don’t want to accumulate worldly success and still wonder if ‘this’ is it,” Milazzo explains. “Spiritual renewal looks different for everyone, but I think an important component of it is to quiet down and reflect on who you want to be and what is really important. Doing this will give you lasting perspective and will help you to realize and remember just how precious a gift life is.”

Renew mentally. Most of us never stop to consider how often we feed our minds less-than-healthy fuel. Whether it’s reality TV, bad romance novels, talk radio, or Farmville, the activities we pursue in our downtime often don’t renew our energy (and may even deplete it). No, you don’t have to read scholarly articles and watch educational documentaries every day, but it is important to throw some thought-provoking activities into the mix. Consider visiting a museum, gallery, or arboretum that you normally pass by, or try your hand at something creative like painting or writing.

“What you feed your mind influences your thoughts, attitude, and energy,” points out Milazzo. “You need mental energy to be creative and to make good decisions. You don’t have to give up ‘junk’ entirely—in fact, I find that reading a frivolous book every now and then is kind of like indulging in a buttery bag of popcorn—but make sure that you’re also watching, reading, and experiencing new, challenging, and inspirational things. And the best part is, you don’t have to carve any more free time out of your day. Just imagine what you could learn and accomplish in the time it takes to watch a sitcom or two!”

Celebrate to intensify renewal. Think about it: life without celebration would be one long stream of to-do lists, thankless tasks, and mindless drudgery. When you accomplish a goal or pass a milestone—big or small—it’s smart to take a little time to celebrate your success. Even thirty seconds of allowing joy to bubble up inside you can act as a great pick-me-up and keep burnout at bay.

“You need to experience satisfaction when you reach your objectives, so make a habit of celebrating each success,” Milazzo reiterates. “When you acknowledge the little things, the big goals also seem more attainable. For example, just being considered for a promotion is worthy of self-congratulations. Even if things don’t work out as you hoped they would, you can still celebrate your willingness to step out into the unknown.”

Renew with the people you love. Have you ever noticed that we often work ourselves to the bone to benefit the people we love…and end up rarely spending time with them as a result? No, you can’t blow off all work and responsibilities, but make sure that close relationships stay at the top of your priority list. The fact is, since life and love don’t happen in a vacuum, surrounding yourself with people you love guarantees you more positive experiences.

“When you cultivate strong relationships of all kinds, you will create memories, and you will not have to face anything alone,” Milazzo says. “Plus, women in particular are wired to connect, so when you schedule date nights and girls’ nights, take part in traditions, and create memories, you’ll be more fulfilled. Also, responsibilities, tough times, and problems that need to be overcome don’t seem nearly as overwhelming when you have a team of friends and loved ones on your side!”

Renew by giving back. The phrase “giving back” often conjures up the mental image of a wealthy philanthropist writing sizeable checks to various charities and organizations. No wonder many of us don’t consider ourselves to be givers—we’re more focused on making sure that our own accounts aren’t overdrawn! However, giving doesn’t have to mean cracking open your wallet—time, mentoring others, or giving spiritual or emotional support are all just as valuable.

“Giving is a gratifying and renewing act because it disconnects you from yourself and your own problems, creating fresh perspective,” Milazzo asserts. “I’ve found, for example, that when I extend encouragement—even if it’s just a quick ‘Thinking about you!’ text message, I receive that same gift back abundantly in my own life. When you live selflessly, you will attract genuine relationships, unconditional support, and lasting respect…and you’ll also leave behind a positive legacy that you can be proud of.”

“Ultimately, taking the time to renew yourself will give you the energy and capacity to enjoy the life you were blessed with—even in the midst of tough times,” Milazzo concludes. “Remember that it’s okay, and even encouraged, to take care of yourself. While periodic and strategic renewal won’t get rid of all your problems, it will lighten your load and help you to remain solid in the midst of the chaos.”

About the Author

Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, is author of the New York Times bestseller, Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman. From a shotgun house in New Orleans to owner of a $16-million business, Wall Street Journal best-selling author Milazzo shares the innovative success strategies that earned her a place on the Inc. list of Top 10 Entrepreneurs and Inc. Top 5000 Fastest-Growing Companies in America.

Vickie is the owner of Vickie Milazzo Institute, an education company she founded in 1982. Featured in the New York Times as the pioneer of a new profession, she built a professional association of 5,000 members.

Vickie has been featured or profiled in numerous publications, including the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Houston Chronicle, Ladies’ Home Journal, Texas Bar Journal, Los Angeles Times, Philadelphia Inquirer, and in more than 220 newspapers. Vickie has appeared on national radio and TV, including the National Public Radio program This I Believe and more than 200 national and local radio stations.

She is the author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Inside Every Woman: Using the 10 Strengths You Didn’t Know You Had to Get the Career and Life You Want Now. Vickie is recognized as a trusted mentor and dynamic role model by tens of thousands of women, a distinction that led to her national recognition as the Stevie Awards’ Mentor of the Year.

Vickie was recognized as the Most Innovative Small Business by Pitney Bowes’s Priority magazine and received Susan G. Komen’s Hope Award for Ambassadorship. Author, educator, and nationally acclaimed speaker, this multimillionaire entrepreneur shares her vast experience with thousands of women.

Marriage on Valentine’s Day and Every Day

Valentine’s Day is looming large on the horizon, and everywhere you look, commercials, magazines, store displays, and more are focused on helping couples plan the “perfect” February 14th celebration. Yes, if you’re in a relationship, it is important and enjoyable to celebrate your love on this special day. However, Todd Patkin has some advice for married couples especially: Romance, roses, chocolates, and champagne are only a small part of what makes up a marriage. The truth is, it’s the 364 days that surround February 14th that can make or break the quality of your relationship. So if you want to give your spouse the most meaningful Valentine’s gift of all, commit to putting daily thought—and yes, work!—into your relationship.

“I believe that many marriages simply deteriorate because couples allow their relationships to run on ‘autopilot,’ but still expect them to stay healthy and exciting, especially around holidays like Valentine’s Day,” explains Todd Patkin, author of the new book Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and—Finally—Let the Sunshine In. “But the truth is, like everything else in life, relationships don’t work that way. We must learn to put as much—no, even more—effort into our marriages as we do in trying to succeed professionally or keeping our gardens, houses, or cars looking top shelf.”

Furthermore, Patkin asserts that a happy marriage is the cornerstone of a happy life—if your marriage isn’t good, you’re going to have trouble feeling fulfilled in other areas as well.

“I know from experience that if you get it right here, it’s easier to get it right in all of the other aspects of your life, because the person who’s closest to you will be there to support you and will have your best interests at heart,” he adds.

“When you let your marriage just ‘sit,’ it’ll eventually get rusty and break down, just like your car would,” Patkin points out. “And that’s a terrible tragedy. We all should have been told growing up that you do have to work on your marriage every day, too, if you want it to stay exciting and great.”

If you’re ready and willing to do everything in your power to make your marriage a happier one (perhaps starting this February 14th), read on for Patkin’s nine tips:

Recommit yourself to your marriage every single day. Believe it or not, your marriage vows weren’t a one-time deal. No, you and your spouse probably aren’t going to stand in front of your loved ones and recommit yourselves to one another on a regular basis. But if you want to cultivate a strong and happy marriage, you should start each morning by making a renewed personal commitment to keeping your relationship healthy and rewarding.

“As I mentioned earlier, people work on their cars, their houses, and their gardens on a regular basis,” Patkin points out. “And just as these things need regular, constant attention to thrive, so does your marriage. Don’t let your enthusiasm for working on your relationship be short-lived. In order to give your marriage regular tune-ups, start by remembering what you said you’d do when you made your vows: Love your spouse. Honor her (or him!). Cherish her. Comfort her. Remain faithful to her. And do these things in good times and bad, in sickness and in health—every day of your marriage.”

Evaluate where your self-worth comes from. With very few exceptions, we human beings tend to base our sense of self-worth on the things that are most important to us. It’s common to hear people proudly say, “I’m a financial advisor,” or, “I’m the manager of my division at work,” or even, “I drive a Cadillac!” But how often do you hear, “I am the world’s luckiest husband,” or, “I have the best family in the whole wide world”?

“I understand all about being proud of your career accomplishments and of other things in your life, but I truly believe that the happiest couples draw a lot of their self-worth from their relationship with each other,” Patkin asserts. “So please assess where your marriage really falls right now on your list of personal accomplishments. Are you consistently relying on something other than your marriage, like your job, to make you feel good about yourself?”

Verbalize to your spouse the things you love and appreciate about him or her all of the time. Did you know that the things you think about and talk about influence how you experience the world around you? It’s true! So why not spend time thinking about how great your spouse is and then verbalizing those thoughts? Start by reminding yourself of all of the reasons why you fell in love in the first place, and then list how much more wonderful your partner has gotten since your marriage. Also, tell her (or him!) how much she means to you, how much you love her, and how beautiful she is ten times a day.

“Believe me, no one will ever say that they hear such compliments about themselves too many times,” Patkin promises. “And not only will this make your partner feel great in the moment, but consistently complimenting one another is the single greatest long-term vitamin you can each give to one another for your marriage. Verbalizing such compliments to your spouse is especially important today because most of us have a tendency to dwell on our mistakes while disregarding all of the things we do right. And we don’t normally hear compliments from our kids, our coworkers, or even our friends either, so over time, we start to feel small and unhappy. Thus, as a spouse, it is your responsibility to continue to make your wife or husband feel as great about her or himself as possible.”

Acknowledge the little things your spouse does, and return the favor. In a similar vein, constantly perform small but meaningful acts for your spouse, and don’t be surprised if he or she starts to do the same for you (if he or she doesn’t do so already, that is!). For example, if your wife hates unloading the dishwasher, make a point to get into the kitchen and put away the dishes first. Or make a mental note to wash the sheets on Friday afternoon so that they’ll be clean when your husband sleeps in on Saturday. Acts like this don’t take much time or energy, but they show your spouse that you are paying attention and that you care—and that is truly priceless!

“Also, it’s key that anytime your spouse goes out of his or her way to make your life better or easier, acknowledge that you’ve noticed and that you appreciate this expression of your partner’s love,” Patkin suggests. “Never let small acts go unnoticed. Saying thank you—and accompanying it with a heartfelt hug or kiss—starts a cycle of giving and getting. It’s when you don’t acknowledge your spouse’s efforts that he or she will begin to feel taken for granted and ignored. And usually, things will only go downhill from there.”

Learn—and then do—what makes your spouse feel most loved. Say, for example, that you love to receive gifts. Whether it’s a big-screen TV or a lowly fridge magnet picked up during a friend’s travels, you feel acknowledged and appreciated whenever you’re handed a wrapped box. So whenever you want to let your wife know that you’re thinking about her or want to boost her mood, you bring home a gift: flowers, a CD, or a book by one of her favorite authors. Only problem is, what your wife is really craving is a nice, long hug.

“Don’t assume you know what makes your spouse feel the most loved,” Patkin advises. “While any expression of love is, of course, a good thing, the fact is that we all feel loved in different ways. So it is important that you find out what makes your spouse feel the most loved. Simply ask the question, ‘What have I done in the past that made you feel the most special?’ Some people might want a date night. Others might need to be told verbally that they are the greatest. It’s always a good idea to ask your spouse what makes him or her feel most loved—and then include those actions or words into your regular repertoire. You’ll notice a big difference…and you’ll probably find that your spouse reciprocates, too.”

Don’t let resentment build. When you live in fairly close quarters with another human being, it’s inevitable that sooner or later you’re going to annoy each other. (In fact, at times you’re probably going to want to kill each other.) While it’s not a good idea to nit-pick with your spouse each and every time you feel a teeny bit put out, it’s also unhealthy to let issues and negative feelings build up and fester.

“Always, always make it a priority to keep the lines of communication open,” Patkin advises. “Even if you have to go for a walk to clear your head first, be sure to express your grievances in a calm, constructive way—preferably before you go to bed angry. Also, remember that this is a two-way street. When your spouse is upset with you, make every effort not to fly off the handle and to fairly consider what you’re hearing. Marriage does involve compromising and modifying your behavior for another’s well-being—and believe me, your mutual happiness is worth it.”

Take responsibility and stop trying to fix your partner. There’s a lot of finger pointing going on in marriages. After all, it’s easy to identify and list all the ways someone else is getting it wrong. (Plus, it just feels good to be “right.”) But how much good does all of this complaining and accusing really do? After you finish berating your spouse for yet another of his or her supposed failings, does the quality of your life actually change? Probably not. According to Patkin, it’s time to take a break from blaming and instead work on yourself. While both partners do need to be willing to compromise in order to help the other, it’s always best to look at how your own behavior could improve before you try to change your spouse’s.

“The more time you spend trying to change your spouse, the less time you have for improving yourself,” Patkin points out. “As far as I know, there has never been such a thing as a ‘perfect’ husband or wife! And I bet that when you begin to take responsibility for areas in which you may have been dropping the ball, the dynamic of your marriage will change. Perhaps your spouse has been trapped in a cycle of negativity that has been fed by your own less-than-helpful attitude. And remember, people unconsciously begin to mirror the people they spend the most time with. This happens for the good as well as for the bad! So if you start working on yourself, your spouse will most likely do the same.”

Figure out what your strengths are and play to them. As much as possible, you and your spouse should each play to your strengths within your marriage and back away from your weaknesses. If, for example, you’re great with words but don’t have much of a math brain, don’t take on the task of making sure the bills are paid and the accounts are balanced each month. Instead, take the lead in dealing with teachers, repairmen, etc. When you force yourself to do something for which you have little aptitude, you only frustrate yourself and, by extension, the people with whom you live.

“I’ll be honest—I’m awful when it comes to doing projects around the house,” Patkin admits. “I have very little mechanical understanding or skill, and I have no patience for these types of jobs. For years, though, I’d try tackling these sorts of projects around the house. And then when I failed to put the pieces of a new desk together, for example, I’d feel like less of a man. Well, I’ve finally accepted the fact that I will never be Mr. Home Improvement, and I don’t waste my time or energy on that type of task. Thus, I get much less frustrated, I’m happier, and the people around me are happier too! I’ve learned that it’s definitely a good idea to ask your spouse for help or pay to have the job done if neither of you feels confident.”

Date your spouse again. When you’re newly in love and in full courtship mode, you do everything you can to spend every free moment with your partner. Eventually though, work, kids, responsibilities, and life in general tend to get in the way of your relationship with your spouse. The two of you stop doing fun things with only one another, and it’s easy to go weeks at a time without having any serious conversations that don’t revolve around work, money, or kids. That’s why it’s imperative to set aside time to date your spouse.

“Vow to take the time to invest in the romantic part of your relationship,” Patkin advises. “It may not seem important, but this is the cornerstone of a good marriage. Without that so-called ‘spark,’ the other parts of your life, like work and kids, will suffer too. Try to act like you did when you were both in the infatuation period of your relationship: Bring home flowers or other small gifts. Plan a special date night (maybe involving a babysitter this time around!). Get tickets to the reunion tour of a band you and your spouse loved when you first began dating. Basically, get back to the essence of how you fell in love in the first place!”

“I hope that once you begin celebrating, respecting, and loving your spouse as I’ve just described, as well as prioritizing your marriage every day, you’ll find that the whole dynamic of your relationship changes,” Patkin concludes. “I hope that you’ll begin smiling more, feeling better, and experiencing more ‘spark.’ It’s true: Everything—and especially our own happiness—really is, to a huge extent, about our relationships with other people. And I think Cupid would agree!”

# # #

About the Author:
Todd Patkin grew up in Needham, Massachusetts. After graduating from Tufts University, he joined the family business and spent the next eighteen years helping to grow it to new heights. After it was purchased by Advance Auto Parts in 2005, he was free to focus on his main passions: philanthropy and giving back to the community, spending time with family and friends, and helping more people learn how to be happy. Todd lives with his wonderful wife, Yadira, their amazing son, Josh, and two great dogs, Tucker and Hunter.

Not only is cooking with your child fun, it can also be very educational. I have taught my daughter how to stir, add water, and measure. Her favorite cooking experience was making a cake for mother’s day, she really enjoyed putting the sprinkles on the cake. As holidays are approaching, we have already made a list of goods to bake for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. To start off our journey in baking, Sesame Street has released a book, “B i s for Baking” which is perfect for a stocking stuffer or a Christmas present for your child.

“B is for Baking” has 50 nutritious meals for you and your child to make together. Most of the meals are made from scratch, healthy, and easy to make. There are different recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and of course the special occasions. My daughter and I made our favorite, Banana Nut Bread.I smashed up the bananas and she added all the ingredients and stirred. “B is for Baking” gives tips to let you know when child can participate and when adults should perform the task, such as putting the food into the oven or using a knife. Of course the kitchen was a little messy from the flour and the stirring, but the experience was fun and the bread was delicious.

You can purchase “B is for Baking” at Amazon.com for only $11.55.

Dinosaur Dig! by Penny Dale

What an adorable book to read to your child.  My son and daughter both love all things animal related, heavy vehicles and dirt- everything this book includes.  Not only does it offer detailed in colorful illustrations, but it encourages learning.   The vehicles included in this story are steamrollers, dump trucks, crane truck , loader and more. Some of the dinosaurs are : Triceratops, Iguanodon, Tyrannosauarus Rex, Stegasaurus, and more. Each page shows the dinosaurs doing something to build a structure.  The kids could not wait to get to the end to see what structure this team of dinosaurs was creating!

Though my daughter is at the age where paperback books are becoming more appropriate, she is still very  much in love with her board books.  Her favorite kind?  The touch and feel variety.  Candlewick’s newest character Noodle is absolutely adorable.  He’s busy, inquisitive and absolutely darling!  The pages of these books are filled with simple rhyming texts, which is great for peaking the interest of little ones.  In the book, Noodle shows us all the way in which he likes to have fun, but out of all the things Noodle likes to do, his favorite thing is to cuddle with Mommy.

My daughter, bless her little heart, is not a fan of bedtime.  Some nights she will go down with less of a fight than others, but she still makes in clear to us that she is against it.  Addie loves reading about Noodle’s bedtime routine and is learning in the process.  As we read the pages together, she compares her bedtime routine to that of Noodle.  Addie has even gone as far as retelling the story with her own routine included.  Such an awesome book to read to little ones to prove to them just how nice bedtime can really be.

Our names will be forever connected with one of the most significant medical errors ever made inside a fertility clinic. In February 2009, through a process referred to as a frozen embryo transfer, another couple’s embryos were mistakenly transferred into my body. Eight months later, I gave birth to a baby boy who we relinquished to his genetic parents a few minutes after delivery. Following the pregnancy, it became important to us that this mistake never happen again. Through research and asking questions of fertility specialists, our list of concerns has grown past the obvious need to make sure proper patient safety protocols are in place, to include even graver concerns with regards to how human embryos are handled. Who is making decisions about which embryos are transferred, cryopreserved, and discarded?

We thought we had control regarding how our embryos were handled. Turns out, we were wrong.

As part of the investigation into how the wrong embryos were transferred into me, we requested my medical records. While reviewing the documentation from our first in vitro fertilization in August 2006, we were saddened to learn that three of our embryos were handled in a manner that conflicted with our personal beliefs, which we thought we had clarified when Sean and I signed a Consent to Freeze form provided by our clinic. This form directed the clinic to cryopreserve any unused, viable embryos following my embryo transfer. The morning of my original IVF transfer, we had five viable embryos that had developed to the blastocyst/morula stage. We chose to transfer two. What we didn’t know was that our three unused embryos were going to be held out of cryopreservation for two additional days, in an attempt to see if they eventually met the clinic’s unique quality standards that determine which embryos are frozen. Sean and I assumed that if they were alive the day of transfer, they would be frozen following our transfer. We had no idea that behind the scenes, in a lab that we had no access to, our three embryos were going to be measured against a standard that had never been explained to us.

Consent to Freeze forms are signed by patients every day inside fertility clinics across the world. Yet embryos that qualify for cryopreservation in one clinic may not qualify for cryopreservation by the standards of another. There is no industry wide standard for grading the quality of human embryos. Clinics determine which grading scales they use and set their own unique criteria to freeze. We have even learned of instances where doctors within the same clinic use different criteria to determine embryonic viability.

The truth is that no embryo grading scale can determine, with certainty, which embryos will turn into healthy babies. High-grade embryos often fail to yield pregnancies and poor grade embryos are capable of producing perfectly healthy babies. Logan Morell, the little boy I gave birth to as a result of the mistaken transfer, was born from an embryo that was given a poor quality grade. We have learned through research that many fertility doctors would have canceled my frozen embryo transfer because Logan’s embryo wasn’t good enough. Thank goodness our doctor left that decision to us. We believe the choice of whether to transfer or not, whether to freeze or not, belongs to the patient.

Do fertility doctors play God during the IVF process? When they take decisions about the fate of human embryos out of the hands of patients, we believe they do. Sean and I admit we made an incorrect assumption about the meaning of a Consent to Freeze form. We didn’t know to ask about our clinic’s criteria. We didn’t think to give specific instructions to freeze our unused embryos immediately following my transfer regardless of their quality ratings. These are mistakes that we have to live with, and it’s tough. All three of those embryos had higher quality ratings than Logan’s embryo. We’ll never know if they might have become a child.

Sean and I believe decisions regarding medical treatments should always be between a patient and the doctor. But with little regulation and almost no oversight in the fertility industry, it is imperative that patients educate themselves thoroughly about their clinic’s procedures. Patients should ask for a copy of their fertility clinic’s embryo grading system. In addition, the clinic should provide couples a detailed explanation of the criteria used to determine if an embryo is fit for transfer, or fit for cryopreservation. After reviewing these policies, patients must clearly communicate in writing their desires. For patients to make informed decisions, they should communicate daily with the clinic staff about embryonic development. If a doctor refuses these requests, find a new clinic!

We believe in vitro fertilization is God given technology, just like open heart surgery, chemotherapy, and antibiotics. We are also aware that the science of assisted reproductive medicine poses ethical questions that require serious thought. Many have condemned the medical treatments available to infertile couples because they believe it “interferes with nature” or “circumvents God’s role in creation.” Sean and I wholeheartedly disagree. IVF has helped us bring our daughter into the world, and we have no doubt that in time, she will positively impact the lives of the people around her. Regardless of one’s opinion about assisted reproductive techniques, it is in the best interests of fertility professionals and patients that protocols ensure patient safety; that communications about human embryos are clear and concise; and that there is complete transparency in the process of assisted reproductive techniques.

© 2011 Carolyn Savage, author of Inconceivable: A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn’t Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift

Author Bios
Sean and Carolyn Savage’s, story was covered widely when they gave birth to the baby boy in September 2009, including People magazine and on The Today Show. In Inconceivable: A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn’t Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift, they are telling the entire story for the very first time.  Sean and Carolyn live in Ohio with their two teenage sons and a two-year-old daughter