Behavior, more than words, is a much better barometer of what you are.

How true. I read that statement somewhere recently. It’s so apropos to this Self-Help Category that a blog about it is worth writing. So here goes:

Observance of another’s behavior may quite possibly be the greatest gift for your own growth. Think about it. Why does someone push your buttons in such a teeth grinding, irritating way? I’ve heard it said that it’s because there is something in ourselves that we must look at and change. In other words, their behavior is a reflection of our own not so nice side. Like a magnet, we attract to ourselves what we give out to others. Here we go again, back to the Law of Attraction, and because that law is so much a part of our lives, we will in one way or another receive exactly what we attract. So, if we aren’t learning on our own to “cut the crap” someone will be brought into our lives so we can ask, “Jeez, why don’t they just cut the crap?”

This type of behavior came round to me three times (that I’m currently aware of) in the past four years. Two of the times it was an employer’s behavior that I abhorred, and one was a family member’s behavior that I just thought was bad. Who am I to judge? But I did, and that’s when the karmic wheel turned to face me. I realized that I was behaving like one of those employers, should have handled things like the other employer, and needed to learn a thing or two from a certain family member. I’d say my time came around, and learn I did.

A large percentage of the time our greatest teacher is the one person that makes us crazy. I’m going to include our exes in this case because they can be one of our greatest teachers. Call me crazy (I know you just did) but hindsight is a beautiful thing. I won’t discuss my ex, but I will say this: I did not have one iota of patience back then, had extremely muddled boundaries, and didn’t know how to speak up without yelling. Though he wasn’t a day at the beach, or anywhere else, I could have handled myself better. And knowing this is called change or growth and that’s a marvelous thing.

I’m not asking you to drudge up old, bad, maybe even harmful memories, what I am suggesting is this: perhaps some people behaved the way they did because it’s the best they could have done at the time, given where they were in their life. Isn’t that also your alibi for how you behaved, or are currently coming from? Time and distance are great therapy, so is age. Someday when you look back at your own behavior you may remember this blog (or others) and understand that we all do the best we can with what we have, but it’s still no excuse for bad behavior that one will not learn from.